Fairly Unbalanced

We thought we would hate these, and we’re so glad we were wrong! Though the premise sounded so flawed, in actuality these worked far better than we could have guessed, and while we’re still a little disgusted by the concept, we must give them their props: the proprietors of this stand are apparently mad geniuses.

The key here is addition by subtraction: rather than including sugar or cinnamon or other typical funnel cake toppings, the deep-fried dough is left unadorned as cheese is piled on top, making this funnel cake more like a breadstick. They are still greasy, and still definitely not a health food, but it is very flavorful and not at all unpleasant. Another wonderful surprise was the quality of the Sriracha aioli dipping sauce, which complimented the cheese blend well and had just the right amount of kick to not overwhelm while still contributing to a unique experience. As for the cheese blend, the description promises four cheeses: Parmesan, Romano, mozzarella and topped off with a sharp cheddar. Fortunately, we enjoyed the cheese, adding a warm and gooey stretch to each pulled-apart bite.

For $8, you receive a pretty good portion of these funnel cake bites; any more and you would need to consult your cardiologist. For the adventurous eater, we can healthily recommend giving these a try, if for no other reason than to brag about having — and enjoying! — one of the most unique items ever offered at the Fair.

Ratings (0-5):

• Taste: 3
• Appearance: 3
• Novelty: 5
• Value: 3

Overall Score: 14 out of 20 (Fairly Fresh)

This review is a two-fer because both items were similar, and one word can sum up our experience with both: bad. We don’t mean to knock down a brand new vendor so harshly, but we truly did not enjoy either item served up to us from their well-located booth just inside the Main Gate. Starting with the Cookie Dough On-A-Stick, the premise is very simple: three large hunks of safe-to-eat cookie dough, placed on a stick. There are five options for type of cookie dough; we opted for the classic chocolate chip. You also have the option to have your dough dipped in coating or topped with sprinkles or crushed peanuts, for an extra cost. If you feel that Sweet Martha’s cookies are too sugary, avoid this at all costs. We were greeted by dough that exudes sweetness to excess, with a gritty texture that we felt going straight to our teeth. The serving size was far too much for us to handle, as we were pretty quickly done with this experience, with no redeeming quality present.

Likewise, things did not improve much with the deep-fried version of their product either. The same dough is this time encased in what seemed to be a spring roll wrapper, dunked in frying oil, then topped with powdered sugar and chocolate sauce to up the calorie counter through the roof. These at least had something to mask the low-quality cookie dough, but they still were difficult to work our way through, with the poor chocolate sauce making matters worse. They are served three to an order, but we went searching for someone else to pawn off the last of the three as we just could not handle finishing it off.

The Cookie Dough On-A-Stick cost $5, while the Deep-Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough runs three for $7 or five for $10. No matter your price point, these are not worth having, even for the biggest sweet tooth. While it is a novel concept that basically defines Fair food, there are so many better options available around the Fairgrounds that these should be avoided at all costs.

Cookie Dough On-A-Stick:

Ratings (0-5):

• Taste: 0
• Appearance: 1
• Novelty: 3
• Value: 1

Overall Score: 5 out of 20 (Fried-Out Flop)

Deep-Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Ratings (0-5):

• Taste: 1
• Appearance: 2
• Novelty: 2
• Value: 0

Overall Score: 5 out of 20 (Fried-Out Flop)

Tejas Express has quietly built up a great menu of Tex-Mex cuisine from their large outpost inside the Beer Garden. Their new food offerings each year are seldom featured in the new foods list put out annually by the Fair, which only highlights a selection of the debuting items from various vendors. Perhaps because of this, their new food items are some of the least talked about as well, but this is a mistake because they have shown time and again that their inclusion of quality ingredients and a sense of inventiveness make them one of the Fair’s best places to eat.

One of this year’s new foods is this delightful sausage, diced up and placed atop a bed of greens, along with vibrant tomatoes, corn niblets and a pickled red onion relish, drizzled with a wonderful brown whole grain mustard. In a whole field of new spicy foods this year, this sausage is perhaps the spiciest, so timid eaters should beware. For those who love the hot stuff though, this is a must try. This sausage is grilled to perfection, with beautiful deep colors that evoke just how much spice — and flavor — you are going to get in each bite. The rest of the ingredients are ancillary, but each were fresh, tasty and sensible additions to this dish, all complimenting the sausage well. Especially notable is the mustard, a far cry from the cheap bottled stuff that is suitable for your corn dog; this mustard is the real deal, and amps up the flavors of the sausage.

$10 nets you a pretty good size portion of sausage, served in a paper boat, though it will overwhelm those who avoid spicy foods. The flimsy paper boat will make it more difficult to eat on the go, as getting some of each ingredient on the fork for a single bite can be a tough affair. The mix of colors from each ingredient is visually stunning, and each component of this mix looks incredibly appetizing. This is well worth seeking out within the under-utilized Beer Garden space.

Ratings (0-5):

• Taste: 5
• Appearance: 4
• Novelty: 2
• Value: 3

Overall Score: 14 out of 20 (Fairly Fresh)